Obviously different from her brother.

I just heard the sound of water running in the bathroom.

Me: "Ashley, what are you doing, honey? Come out of the bathroom."

Ashley: "I'm just washing my hands because I touched my 'bagina.'"

Awesome.

Tick-tock

Well, I missed a certified letter the other day... so we're going to have to go to our ghetto-ass Post Office to get it. I'm certain it's the formal letter from our lender demanding payment. So, we're looking at moving (probably) in the next 3 months. I suppose, it could be longer... but assuming shorter is probably a good thing.

I'm relieved, anxious, and excited. "There's no place like home." Can't wait to be back.

In other news, I started a diuretic last week... and besides peeing 11,000 times a day, no ill-effects. This is good for a couple of reasons

1. I have lost a couple of pounds just from the water weight.

2. It's a sulfa-based drug, and we were trying it out - I have had a previous reaction to sulpha in the past. So, this opens the door to try the other medications my doctor wanted me to take, but couldn't due to the sulpha-allergy concerns.


In other news, I'm running a 5K tomorrow morning... I did it on the treadmill the other day, and am feeling good, so, yay.

Ready to go out with the family and enjoy the sunshine.

Well that sucked.

The new medication caused a list of side effects within a very short time. Stomach cramps, joint pain, numbness in my hands and feet, itching like crazy. So, nope. Tomorrow I go in for another appointment and hopefully start something else that won't make me feel like utter crap.

A healthy mama is a happy mama

I broke down and joined a gym. I figure... I am NOT going to be able to train for a half-marathon if I can't even get 1/2 mile in before Ashley freaks out in the jogger. So, I got on a month-to-month agreement with a gym 3 minutes from home... and went Tuesday night. I was planning on going yesterday, but I had to fast for some bloodwork until 11:30am... meaning no caffeine either. Oh, the day-long headache that ensued. :( On that note, I am going to cut down on caffeine as well.

My triglycerides are "BEAUTIFUL!" (52) according to my doctor. YAY olive oil! And my HDL (59) and LDL (76) are ok, a little tiny bit higher than optimal... so he wants me to eat more fish/take fish oils (I was taking fish oils for a long time, and then they started to make me feel icky)

I am starting a new medication for BP (a calcium-channel blocker) and gradually getting off of the Labetalol I have been on since I was only 6 weeks pregnant with Ashley. My cardiologist thinks once I start exercising regularly again, I will drop more weight, and my BP will stay down longer, and hopefully I can get off of meds completely.

Reality

We have been doing well with the weaning.... Ashley has asked (especially in the middle of the night/early morning) to nurse. I have gently reminded her that there's no more nursing. I was lucky, too... we went up to my in-laws' last night. Also, my mother-in-law (who is awesome!) watched the kids so we could actually go out. The bedtime routine sans-nursing was something I was dreading. She went right to sleep for her. :)

We had a great evening. We went out for drinks, dinner, and a movie... and we really needed the break together.

But today has been really, really rough. Tantrums, meltdowns, freak-outs. And I'm sad for her, for us, for the end of this nursing relationship. Even though I know it's time, and with her there is NO other way than this....also, I have recently started new medication (Nuvaring) and will be starting another for my blood pressure, and it just needs to happen now. Nursing is something my body has been doing for 6 years. There were only a few months between when Travis weaned and when Ashley was born. My body never stopped making milk... it just changed back to colostrum.

So, the between the guilt for the abruptness/breastfeeding hormones/Nuvaring already messing with my hormones.... it's hitting me hard too, and I have been sensitive and tearful all afternoon.

I'm sure it gets easier, and better... and the next couple of weeks are going to be challenging as we both adjust. I just honestly had no idea I'd feel this fragile. I can only imagine how she feels. :(

End of an Era

Tonight I made a decision. I read the kids their story, and tucked them into bed. Ashley was fidgety, and not wanting to go to sleep. We played musical beds for a bit, and she popped up and wanted back next to me.

I took her in my arms and rubbed her sweet face and ruffled her curly hair. "Ashley lovey, this is the last time we're going to nurse."

She looked at me, puzzled. "the milkies are all gone?"

"Yes, sweetie. You're a big girl now, and almost 3. Mommy will always snuggle with you, though. I love you."

She nodded, understanding. "I want to nurse one more time."

So, she did. She curled up in my arms. She patted my breast, and absently pulled at my tanktop. She snuggled into me for the odd-thousandth time, perhaps.

She nursed, and I felt her breathing regulate. She started to drop off to sleep and unlatch. Then she re-positioned herself in her sleep and nursed some more.

I kissed her hair, my arm encircling her head. I inhaled the sweet smell of my pre-schooler, committing this moment to memory.

I listened to the music on in the background and relished the calm and quiet. Then I fell asleep next to my sweet little girl.




~ Christine

Potty Talk

I have been trying to get Ashley to agree to use the potty. She is sooo damned smart... yet so damned stubborn. We have the potties, the panties, the pull-ups, the books, the videos. We talk about it ALL THE TIME. She sits, and sits, and sits. And, nothing. Then, as soon as I put underwear or a Pull-up on her - without fail, she goes. It's so frustrating... but then again what isn't about this child? :)