Mom of My Dreams

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Reality

We have been doing well with the weaning.... Ashley has asked (especially in the middle of the night/early morning) to nurse. I have gently reminded her that there's no more nursing. I was lucky, too... we went up to my in-laws' last night. Also, my mother-in-law (who is awesome!) watched the kids so we could actually go out. The bedtime routine sans-nursing was something I was dreading. She went right to sleep for her. :)

We had a great evening. We went out for drinks, dinner, and a movie... and we really needed the break together.

But today has been really, really rough. Tantrums, meltdowns, freak-outs. And I'm sad for her, for us, for the end of this nursing relationship. Even though I know it's time, and with her there is NO other way than this....also, I have recently started new medication (Nuvaring) and will be starting another for my blood pressure, and it just needs to happen now. Nursing is something my body has been doing for 6 years. There were only a few months between when Travis weaned and when Ashley was born. My body never stopped making milk... it just changed back to colostrum.

So, the between the guilt for the abruptness/breastfeeding hormones/Nuvaring already messing with my hormones.... it's hitting me hard too, and I have been sensitive and tearful all afternoon.

I'm sure it gets easier, and better... and the next couple of weeks are going to be challenging as we both adjust. I just honestly had no idea I'd feel this fragile. I can only imagine how she feels. :(

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